When it comes down to it, kissing is mostly about feeling! If you are too focused on what your mouth should be doing, or how your body should look, then great; but if your love partner isn’t feeling very loved at this moment, then that can really matter.
Fortunately, there are some easy things you can do to make their kiss feel better. By practicing these in advance of real kisses, you will naturally apply them when needed!
These tips come from a well-defined source – scientific research. While not every study confirms each tip, many did! So here they are, in order of most helpful to least:
Tip #1: Breathe
This sounds obvious, but so few people actually do it during sex. Even less do it before sex! But breathing changes depending on mood, state of mind, and situation, which means you can use it for any number of situations, including prelude to sex.
When you breathe more rapidly, you pull air into your lungs more quickly, and that helps you feel full. Plus, regular breath exercises increase endorphin levels, the chemicals that happiness produces.
Breathing also synchronizes with rhythmically moving bodies. And since we spend a lot of time together as couples, knowing how to sync breaths can help keep relationships strong.
Touch your partner gently
When you kiss someone, it is important that you touch them lightly and with care. Too much pressure can hurt rather than feel good!
When you kiss someone, your lips should be stimulated by their skin or mouth. Your hands are always accessible so if needed, you can run your hand through their hair or pull at the shirt they are wearing to get more kissing opportunities.
Your fingers can easily be used as oral tools – brushing their teeth, sucking on their cuticles, rubbing their tongue.
If there’s a chance for sex later, then having some lubrication (such as saliva) is great to have because it helps ease penetration and also allows for better breathing. Avoid using too much liquid though, it could make your partners face dry out and suffocate.
Be careful not to overdo it
Kissing should be fun and easy-going, but remember, even professional porn stars need help in the kissing department! If you are feeling pressured or uncomfortable, break off of the kiss until you both feel comfortable again.
Don’t be a germaphobe
Recent studies show that there is no correlation between how many bacteria you have in your mouth and if you will get sick or not. Some of the strongest evidence comes from an experiment where researchers asked 20 people to kiss 20 licks of each other’s mouths, and then they measured the amount of oral fluid, saliva which contains antibodies, and mucus, which can house more bacterial cells than any other tissue in our body.
The scientists did not find a difference in the number of microbes depending on whether the participants were at risk for HIV or not. This means that having less frequent kisses isn’t going to make much of a difference in preventing disease transmission!
Furthermore, some of the most common habits like using dental floss or talking with your tongue are actually good ways to reduce the amount of infectious agents in your mouth. Re-evaluating your kissing technique may be just what you need to do too.
Brush your teeth
When you are ready for more kissing, make sure to brush your teeth first! This is very important as most people do not.
Many people believe that just because they ate food or drank water earlier that their mouths are already cleaned. But this is definitely not the case if there were still remnants of our last meal or drink at the end of it. Yeast and bacteria can grow in such leftover foods which would then be accessible to each other so that they could begin interacting with our lips and saliva.
This could lead to infection or even stomach ache caused by acid reflux. Never kiss anyone while they are awake after eating anything as this could potentially hurt them. Also, make sure to wash your hands before starting any kind of intimate activity.
Your mouth will also need to be checked for symptoms like redness, pain, or swelling which may indicate something more serious.
Don’t break the kiss
When you first meet someone, kissing is not the top priority. Having sex is! But as time goes by, your kisses will grow colder. This can make your partner feel neglected and uninterested in intimacy.
If this happens to you, try to be more passionate with your kisses. Breathe heavier, use more of your senses (sight, taste, touch, smell), and experiment with different styles of kissing.
By practicing these tips, you’ll show your loved one how much they mean to you. And if it does turn into more than that, then great!
But remember, even if there is no action, people need emotional contact for overall happiness.
Make eye contact
A good kiss requires adequate amount of intimacy, so make sure your partners eyes are looking into yours! This creates an intimate feeling for both people.
When you look down or away from your partner they will feel like their message was not heard. They will want to repeat what they said but it will seem less important because you did not listen.
Make sure your eyelids are lifted up as well, this helps show that you care about the person and them only. Your body language says ‘I am interested in you’ not ‘I am trying to get some myself’.
Keep your hands still and relaxed, doing something with one hand is better than having nothing done. If you do happen to put your hands somewhere, remember it is romantic and intended to connect two people together.
Do not stick your tongue out unless you really wanted to taste something or you thought there was already enough saliva. It may be because you just woke up, were nervous, or could use some more moisture.
Removing any kind of layer of skin or fat can hinder proper breathing, so if you find yourself struggling to breathe then skip the next tip.
Communicate your desires
Being a good kisser requires that you are clearly vocal about what you want from kissing someone else. If you are not sure how to start, there is no need to be shy or uncomfortable! There are many ways to approach this topic.
By being aware of the types of kisses, it can help determine which ones you should try out for yourself.
You do not have to go all in with long lasting kisses and tongue swaps right away, but by knowing what kind of kiss makes you feel wanted, then you can work towards giving those to someone special.
Communication is one of the most important things when it comes to intimacy so why not practice it while having some fun?
Research shows that people who communicate more during sex are happier with their relationships.
Try new things
Even if you’ve kissed someone before, it is always good to try out different types of kisses. Different people have different kissing styles that work for them, and learning what works for your kiss partner can make your intimacy levels rise!
There are many types of kisses to experiment with. The first time I really learned how to do this was when I did my oral sex training. Since then, I have experimented with lots of other ways to give and receive pleasure via oral sex.
I would say one of my favorite types of kisses to explore are French kisses. I love practicing mine because I know what feels good and could potentially teach me something more.
Touch your partner’s face
When you kiss someone, one of the first things they will notice is your nose. Technically speaking, your nose does not touch theirs when you kiss, but instead it comes within a few millimetres. However, studies show that this small difference can make a big impact on them.
When you pay attention to what people like and dislike, one of the biggest factors seems to be if their noses feel dry or wet. If yours are feeling particularly tight at the moment, try rubbing some lip balm onto their skin. If they seem slightly watery, apply some powder to help keep their natural oils in place!
Another important thing to consider is whether they need a bit of air during kissing. Some people have a tendency to tighten up from nervousness or stress, so making sure they don’t get too little oxygen can help relax them.