For thousands of years, humans have been relying on each other. The ability to communicate ideas in written or spoken word allowed for cooperation and open communication with other cultures. In some cases, there is no clear definition of “friend,” but everyone knows what a friend is.
This is not the case for 99% of the human population. Humans are what scientists call “concerned beings.”
We know our place in the world, and we know what we need to do to survive.
When two individuals are in different social groups, many cultures prevent them from relating to each other. These cultures even vary in whether they forbid friendship with others of their own race.
I used to think that only stupid people did this. I thought if my friend was rude to someone who wasn’t, it must be because they don’t care about that person.
But that’s not it at all. When we were children, we learned about the basics of cooperation and communication.
We learned that we don’t have to be best friends to be good people, and we learn that it is not acceptable to treat each other like shit.
Throughout my younger years, I’ve always been the one apologizing first. When my peers’ shyness or even an innocent smile turned to the teary look of rejection, I’ve always been the first to apologize.
If I screwed up and said the wrong thing, I always apologized because I felt bad. When I smiled too much and laughed too hard, and “overwhelmed” others, I’ve always apologized and tried to be the better person.
Many people believe that apologizing first is the “correct way” to go, but it’s not. In reality, it just blames the person you need to apologize to (which is not fair), and it’s not good to place the blame on the other person.
When you apologize to a person before you even ask for forgiveness, you never really forgive. You’re just trying to say, “I’m sorry, I messed up.”
And then you leave it there. What you do not do is think about what you said and take responsibility for it.
I’ve noticed this because if you are going to apologize to someone, you should really take the time to sit down and think about what you said and how it might hurt or offend that person.
So, once you apologized first, you can never really go back. Because when you apologize first, you have already blamed the other person.
When the other person forgives you, he or she will continue to see you as a good person, someone who apologizes first and, thus, will forgive you.
Now you are left with nothing. No one else can take the blame or the blame for that matter.
What you can do is be honest and true to yourself and apologize. That way, you can take the blame and the blame for that matter and take responsibility for the way you behaved.
You can be in complete control of your future.
It’s true that the more you apologize first, the better you will feel. But as important as that is, it’s not the only reason you should apologize first.
Here are some more reasons why apologizing is good.
You should be humble and honest. Be the person who’s telling the truth and admitting the truth.
Apologizing first is the only way to do that.
This shows the other person you care about, and you are still willing to be a good person. Instead of saying, “I apologize,” and leave it at that, you should also say, “I messed up, and I’m truly sorry about what I said and how it may have offended you.
I want to do what I can to make it right.”
No one likes to be a doormat. Nobody wants to be the one who’s always apologizing.
By apologizing first, you’re showing the person you care about.
You care enough about the person you want to let him or her know you still have their back even though you messed up. You care enough about the person you want to take your mistakes and turn them into lessons for you, and you want them to take your mistakes and turn them into lessons for you.
When you apologize first, you are putting yourself in the position of being the person who is always willing to admit his or her mistakes. You’re putting yourself in the position of being the person who is actually taking responsibility for your mistakes.
I know that I’m in control of my future.
As the person who apologizes first, you are the person who will take responsibility for your mistakes. Not the person you’re apologizing to.
Not the person you hurt. You.
When you take responsibility for your mistakes, you take responsibility for everything else that comes along with it. You’re taking responsibility for your future.
You’re taking responsibility for the mistakes that you made in the past. You’re taking responsibility for your past mistakes, for the things that you’ve done that were wrong.
You’re taking responsibility for the world and everything in it. You’re taking responsibility for everyone.
And you’re giving that power to the world. And in doing so, you’re actually trying to live a better life.
Now you’re the one who takes responsibility for your actions. You’re the one who is in control. You’re the one who can change your future.
Because of that, you can change your past.
- You can finally move on.
- You can be happy with yourself.
- You can be happy with what you have.
- You can find peace with your mistakes.
Apologizing first can help you turn everything you have into something more.
Say you’re talking to your boss, and he says something unkind about you. Say you have the first opportunity to defend yourself.
You apologize first. You say, “I know I shouldn’t have said that.
I’m sorry. I messed up.
I messed up, and I’m truly sorry about how it may have offended you. I want to do what I can to make it right.”
There’s nothing more powerful than that. There’s nothing more powerful than the fact that you apologized first.
No one else can take that away from you.
- It’s more than your word.
- It’s more than your promise.
- It’s not just your soul that’s at stake. It’s your heart.
Be the person who apologizes first.