This article will discuss why won’t my boyfriend apologize, a conversation starter for many couples who are new to dating, but it can be exhausting for you to deal with. For me, I used to think he wasn’t trying.
He always blamed it on something else.
Relationships are all about communication
There is a comfort level in sharing your feelings and as long as it’s not about your dick size, why not let it all out? I’m all for holding back information for a reason — and your needs.
If someone asked you what your best friend’s best feature is, wouldn’t you tell them? It’s your relationship! You get to decide.
And it’s OK to say, “I’d rather talk about this when we get home.”
It’s also important to talk to someone before you feel like you can’t be in a relationship anymore. You may feel a desire to talk to someone outside of your relationship who you trust.
If you’re going through something you don’t feel comfortable or safe to share with someone in your relationship, find a therapist you trust and a best friend you can talk to.
Expressing your feelings is not a sign of weakness
After your breakup, or before, tell him to tell you he is sorry for what he said to you. Your partner should feel comfortable and secure in being vulnerable with you. It’s good to have a healthy boundary, and someone that respects those boundaries can work well together.
But if you don’t feel safe expressing your feelings to your partner, you should feel safe expressing them to a therapist or your best friend.
Start talking about what you need. You need for them actually to fix what they said or did.
You can either tell them, or you can make it clear by calling them out on it. If you’re not hearing something they are saying, or if you think they are ignoring you, tell them.
Be mature
A lot of what you’re experiencing in your relationship is a result of narcissism and immaturity. One of the main traits of narcissism is that they think they are entitled to whatever they want and whatever they believe they have earned.
This was a huge part of what caused your boyfriend to disappear. He didn’t feel like he owed you anything.
He had done nothing to earn your love or respect, and he assumed that you would expect him to make things right and that you would at least accept his apology if he felt that it was necessary. I’ll make it quick and easy for you to understand the entire narcissist/immature relationship dynamic.
Imagine that your boyfriend is your husband.
I’m sure you’ve never had a selfish, me-first boyfriend. Narcissists see themselves as above other people, even those closest to them.
They have no problem abandoning a relationship if they feel like they’ve done nothing to make the relationship work.
Immaturity is another major part of the relationship dynamic. Narcissists are immature and impatient and tend to ignore or disrespect the feelings of others.
They don’t have the capacity to empathize with other people or look at their own behavior and ask how it might affect them or the other people involved.
Communicate what you want in a relationship
Do you want to discuss everything? Or do you want to be able to have a couple of days of complete freedom with no conversation?
The nature of your relationship will dictate the amount of talking you need. However, communication is still important.
Use honesty, but also keep in mind that some things are none of your business. Your best friend doesn’t need to know how many times your boyfriend woke you up last night and doesn’t need to know that you’ve been dreaming about him.
Unless you can trust your partner, you shouldn’t feel comfortable sharing all of your personal business with anyone.
Conclusion
After he has shown you that he is sorry for his past actions and that he’s been really hard on himself to be a better person, show him that you’ve forgiven him and that you’re ready to start fresh.
Your relationship’s entire dynamic is built on the foundation of a relationship you’ve built over the last few years.
You don’t want to have to start over at that point. Allow your boyfriend to get to know and love you in the way that he can only do if he knows you.
Keep some distance for a while and let him know that you can be trusted and that you care for him.
It’s hard to let go of someone you love deeply. It’s even harder when they’ve mistreated you.
It may be even more painful to see your boyfriend fail in his attempt to earn your trust and then betray you again and again. It’s essential to know that you will be okay without him and that you won’t be sucked back into his emotionally dysfunctional life.
You are stronger than you think, and you will succeed at making a meaningful, joyful, and satisfying life.
